Are You Making these Top 5 Meditation “Mistakes”?
There is no wrong way to meditate, because all “mistakes” we make- only serve to exacerbate our suffering…and therefore increase our need to meditate. Life is very good at putting in fail-safes against our own ineptitude.
If you’ve started meditation and stopped, started and stopped, let years go by, started again and stopped- you’re in good company. Everyone gets frustrated and quits a few times before developing a good practice. In actuality, one MUST stop “attempting” to meditate before one actually begins to Awaken to what meditation is all about.
So lets get to the mistakes…
- TRYING to Quiet the Mind:
The number one reason why we sit in meditation- is we desperately want to silence the inane chatter within our mind. Monkey mind is quite relentless. Mind is like the Terminator: “It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are…Spiritually Awakened”.
So…why shouldn’t we try to quiet the mind?
The best way to answer this- is to ask: WHO is trying to silence the mind? Take your time and examine this. What you will find is- MIND is trying to quiet the mind. How could that which is the root cause of the problem also be the source of the solution? It can’t. It won’t listen to our desire to be freed. It’s only interested in furthering its continuity and increasing its own significance.
Mind wanting to quiet mind creates additional inner conflict. This inner conflict provides more fuel to the mind and so our attempt to meditate and quiet the mind- has only led to more struggles and frustration.
In order to circumvent this dilemma what we must do is “do nothing”. Just sit and Observe whatever comes and goes. Patient, passive, non-reactive Observation is your superpower. Whatever thoughts arise, let them come. Whatever thoughts go, let them go. It might take a bit of time to settle into Observer mode- but once we Realize it’s possible to sit and Observe the mind from a point of Neutral Awareness, the mind’s reign of terror is coming near to an end.
Of course, there are many ways to meditate. I am only touching upon one method here for brevity’s sake- so don’t @ me.
2. Sitting Too Long Too Soon:
I think many of us sit down in meditation envisioning a transformation into a Zen Master on Day One. We’ve heard that an hour of meditation is a really good meditation so…let’s sit for an hour. Within the first minute we’ve relived every embarrassing event in our Life from preschool up until this current moment. We sit and wrestle with our thoughts like a Chihuahua puppy tied to a firehose on full blast. We’re tossed around like a rag doll in this mental octagon by our own mind. Beaten to a blood emotional pulp. Our will is broken…
We quit after five minutes- and vow to never sit in meditation ever again.
Don’t do this to yourself. Start SLOW! Meditation is no different than lifting weights. If you start off and try to do too much too soon- you will only end up hurting yourself.
Do one or two minutes for the first week or two. Add a minute or two every week after that and try to slowly work your way up to at least twenty minutes per day.
This is not a competition. You don’t get any awards for persevering through harsh conditions or adversity. Enjoy the journey. Take your time.
3. Quiting Too Soon:
So we’ve worked our way up to twenty minutes a day. We’ve sat for twenty minutes for like two days now and we feel…nothing. Everything feels the same. The mind is still wandering. Monkey mind is still in charge, still kicking us around and we’re getting frustrated. Mind is whispering that this is all a really big waste of time and you’ve fallen for it again! How long are you going to listen to that Spiritual GURU who is unemployed and has no money? Of course he is at Peace. He doesn’t ever DO anything…
Don’t give into the mind…
Meditation is like walking in fog. We don’t notice much of anything going on and then we Realize that we are soaking wet. If the mind begins to pressure us about sitting without seeing any results- then just Observe those thoughts as well. There is no set time frame for the mind to settle down, but if you are patient you will begin to experience “gaps” of Silence in the mind. These small gaps are a good indication that the mind is getting tired of not getting a reaction out of us. So, be patient. Relax. Take up the attitude that you will sit until your last breath and having no results is not going to deter you.
4. Trying to Recreate Meditative Phenomena:
The Bliss! Give me some more of that Bliss. Can never have enough Bliss! Anyone who has come to experience the feeling of euphoric Bliss in meditation has definitely tried to recreate it. If you say that you haven’t- you’re lying.
Anything that occurs within the meditation- is phenomena. Bliss, lights, colors, auras, sounds, images, dreams, out of body experiences, clairvoyance, receiving messages, full body orgasmic euphoria, alien contact, angels, numbers, time travel, space travel… It’s ALL just phenomena and it has no real significance in the grand scheme of Awakening.
If you become infatuated with phenomena- this means that MIND has become infatuated with phenomena. The point of meditation is to relax into the Awareness of Life moving. Awareness of Life moving includes Awareness of mind moving. If we “fall into” the role of mind trying to recreate our meditative experience- then we’ve most likely fallen out of the Neutral Witness role.
A good rule to remember is to relax and allow whatever comes to come and allow whatever goes to go. Nothing needs to be created. Nothing needs to be removed. Just relax with What Is…
5. Holding ANY Expectations about your practice:
It’s natural to begin a meditative practice because we want to feel better. Our mind is giving us trouble. Our relationships never work out. We are overworked, underpaid and complete balls of stress. We are grieving over loss. We are tired. We sometimes just want to give up. It’s all too much.
Again, WHO wants to feel better? WHO is holding this expectation that meditation is the cure all that we’ve been waiting for? MIND! Mind is interested in feeling better- so again we are creating more inner conflict. The mind doesn’t like the way Life is moving- wants to make Life better. We are playing tug of war with ourselves…
Any expectation of getting something out of meditation- delays getting anything from meditation. If you don’t want anything- then you will get something. That something is…Peace of mind.
Peace of mind arises with the deepening of AWARENESS of What Is. When we sit in meditation without expectation- the mind’s inner conflict dissolves. There’s no fuel added to mind when we don’t expect to get anything. Relaxation without expectation is how mind begins to quiet down.
So, to summarize, even though we may make some or all of these five meditation mistakes, Life will continue to use our suffering as a way to bring us back to our Spiritual practice and back to meditation.
Don’t try to quiet your mind. Don’t try too much too soon. Don’t quit too soon. Don’t try to recreate a pleasurable meditation session. Don’t hold any expectations.
Just sit. Relax and Be with What Is…
