Awareness: Awakening to Effortless

About the Book

This book is a collection of Twitter conversations (spanning more than a year) between a Seeker of Truth (Marvelous) and a Sage (William). These discourses are intended to help you open up to the possibility of Realizing higher levels of Consciousness.

In Reality, there’s nothing to gain or lose, as We are already That which we Seek. We are bound within identification as the individual doer and lack the Understanding of Truth, only to the degree in which mind believes we are bound. In order to free ourselves from our own delusion, we must learn to relax into the Loving and Effortless Awareness of What Is.

If you would like further guidance, you can reach out to William (@Tginormous) on Twitter.

Be as Little Children

Marvelous: You tweeted something about observing your thoughts without actually thinking and it got me thinking;

What was our mind like when we were babies, before the mind accumulated experiences and created identities?

How does one go back to that “blankness”?

William: This is exactly how we go back, by asking ourselves: What was I without the mind? Our True Nature is actually the innate Awareness that we were born with. We were just Aware of what was happening. There was no “mind” thinking. So, what we do is we rest as the Awareness again- by observing our thoughts and experiences. With practice, we start to establish a Stable Observer- and that is the same Awareness that we were born with (and still have).

The mind is just obscuring the Awareness, as we are “locked in” to thinking “I am the mind”, which is just another thought. So, just keep Observing everything and return to Awareness when you “fall back into mind”. It just takes some consistency and patience. Meditation can help too because that helps us to focus on the Awareness of thoughts. In meditation- we just watch the thoughts come and go without trying to do anything to or with them. The power comes in passive non-reactive Observation. The repetition of Observation strengthens the ability to rest as the Awareness.

M: Wow…this was really insightful. I appreciate it a lot and would have called you wise one but I bet you’d say “I am no one”.

So, practice, patience, consistency, observation, meditation. Got it.

W: You’re very welcome! And haha, yes, I don’t consider myself to by “anyone” special. Have patience and compassion for yourself- as it’s taken you decades to get to this point. It takes a bit of time to “unravel” ourselves.

Dealing with Discomfort during Meditation

M: Hello friend. I often think of your tweets as they are an ever-guiding light. I’ve been more confused lately and I have so many questions. I trust you’ve been fine.

W: Hello… Confusion is good, as it’s the start of understanding that there is nothing to know! I have been very well. Feel free to just drop questions in here whenever they arise.

M: I always feel weird around my face when I’m “meditating”. Like an energy accumulating. Is that normal?

W: Yes. It’s normal, as ultimately, we are energy flowing. You can look up kundalini energy if you want to read about energy in a bit more detail. The best advice I can give is to not make a big deal over it. If mind becomes curious or fearful, we can become caught up in trying to “recreate” experiences or caught in trying to avoid them. Meditation clears out old conditioning via “energy” and creates new space for Truth to arise. Keep practice simple. Let the energy move as it will. My body sometimes shakes, or my arms may move in meditation. I let everything happen- and have had no issues. Mind questioning things is where we find problems.

Just relax and enjoy yourself. Cry if you feel like crying. Laugh or scream if either arises. All is working towards releasing years of pent up conditioning. It’s all working for you.

M: Thank you. I’ll definitely read up on kundalini like you suggested. And speaking of reading, is accumulating knowledge through books just feeding the ego? I listen to a guru who says he doesn’t read anything or watch the news but he’s still so wise. It seems like the more knowledgeable you get, the more you tend to identify, and the more inner confusion arises. How much of it is ok? And music too, when I’m meditating, I get repetitive hooks in my head and they disturb my concentration.

M: Yes, knowledge is actually what seems to hide Truth. That desire to know and the need for mind to “move” is a conditioned state of existence. From a young age, we were taught to “improve” or “strive” or “gain”. This created comparison and conflict in Life. Knowledge creates “separateness” where none actually exists. In actuality, we are a Universal flow- without parts. Knowledge uprooted us from this silent loving Reality. So, this is why we sit in meditation with no intention. We are practicing resting as Awareness, the silent Observer of the experiencing. We “fade” into What Is- beyond the mind’s idea of What Is…

On good & bad

M: On the separateness you mentioned, is there truly no difference between “good” and “bad”? What about those that hurt others and kill? Some people definitely do some bad things. Are we meant to pretend or delude ourselves that all is absolute good.

W: All bad is done primarily out of ignorance. Those who act poorly simply have been conditioned into negative experiencing. In Reality, if we could trace the conditioning of each person in reverse, we would find a lifetime of negative programming, either via family programming, societal conditioning, perhaps poverty, abuse, expectations, unmet desires, etc… Each person is a representation of a separate “Universe”. Every event in the Universe up until that very moment- created that “bad” action.

Nobody is inherently bad. It’s not about deluding ourselves. It’s about understanding that a bad individual is only a collection of bad conditioning on a Universal scale that led to that bad action.

There are no individuals in Reality. That is a misperception of mind. So, if we understand this, then we can see all of life with Compassion, even for those who may kill, as they are just moving as part of the Universal flow of existence. This is not excusing negative behavior- but allowing us to see the big picture behind the action. We can say there’s just poor conditioning that creates identities- that make wrong choices out of ignorance.

Spiritual Book Recommendations

M: Hello. What book do you suggest I read, as a beginner? Looking for a really insightful book that gives good advice on becoming more aware and slowly silencing the mind.

W: Hello! I always suggest reading something by Thich Nhat Hanh, if you are just starting out. He has a lot of similar books, so I suggest finding two that speak to you and start there. He’s a quick and easy read- which helps to open the door to a new way of seeing.

Use YouTube as well. Mooji and Adyashanti have tons of videos that are very helpful. Always remember, that Awakening is not about “learning” or gathering information. It’s about stepping beyond the beliefs of the mind. If you do choose to read, allow the book to move through you. Don’t try so hard to remember things, as the remembering IS the problem. When we surrender- we surrender into “not knowing”, as Truth is not knowable, so always keep this within you. Let the book move through you.

M: This hit home, thank you. On YouTube I listen to Sadhguru a lot. I’ve seen you talk about Alan Watts and Jiddu Krishnamurti on your timeline so now I’ll be checking them all out.

W: Find what speaks to you. Sometimes I would change who I listened to because whoever I was listening to became stale. I just listened to what my Heart was telling me and exactly what I needed to hear next showed up.

Straying far from Home

M: To be honest BigWill, I don’t how I got into this. I mean it’s a complete contrast to what I was raised with. I have very religious parents, but that way of life doesn’t really interest me anymore. Sometimes I question if I even know what I’m doing. I guess I have a ton of questions, and in my search for answers I discovered this path.

W: Same with me. I was raised Catholic. This came to me out of suffering…

M: I really didn’t see this coming, as both my parents are Pastors.

W: Wow…both parents are pastors huh. Yes, this is moving away from your upbringing. But I will tell you that religion never “clicked” with me, as something was always missing. Now, I can see that “religion” is like a veil hiding Truth beneath its words. Truth is there in the words, but we need to get past the words to Realize It.

M: This is stupid deep. I always felt something was missing too, or some things just didn’t add up. What did you have to do to finally see this truth beneath words? Go on a meditation retreat? Visit a guru?

W: No, I just did it all on my own. I just meditated at home, read books and watched YouTube. I never spoke to anyone about this… It is really something you can do on your own.

M: That’s awesome. How many minutes do you meditate each day?

W: I started out with 2 minutes per day and added a minute or two each week. I finally worked up to 40 minutes per day and just stayed there. I’ve been meditating for about 3 years. Meditation helped me to quiet my mind- and then the Truth just started to show up in the quietness. I realized my mind didn’t actually need to “do anything” other than to get out of the way.

M: I can sit comfortably for 20 minutes, but I struggle with consistency.

W: Yeah, consistency is key. I think in three years I may have missed about 6 or 7 days. I made meditation my number one priority- as if it wasn’t, then mind still seemed to be in charge. Truth must be in charge- if we are going to Transcend the mind. We must look at all of Life through the lens of Truth. Where are we caught in identity? Is this tension real? Where is my ego hiding that’s not letting me move further into Realization?

What is True Happiness?

M: Does spirituality lead to happiness, or does it come from success and money? I know a lot of people who are rich and happy, and couldn’t care less about sitting to meditate.

W: Spirituality opens us up to a space that is Happiness without needing a cause. Rich people NEED the money to be happy. I am happy for no reason. Rich people worry over losing the money- although they may not show you that side of Life. There is a place beyond the mind- where we rest with What Is and allow all to come and go. This is true Peace and Happiness. Nothing can move me to suffering, as I accept everything that comes and let everything that goes to go. It is a very basic principle that escapes us.

M: Not even the loss of a loved one? That one really scares me. I know I can’t protect everyone and it’s inevitable but I also know that being aware of those facts won’t make it easier to deal with.

W: When we come to move beyond identity- we see Life as a Universal Flow. Individuality only happens as a thought in the mind. We become Love Itself when we move past the idea of doership, so we can rest easier with letting loved ones go, as we know that they are truly Eternal Beings and not just this body-mind. It’s impossible to explain how it Truly feels to just be a Universal expression of Love- until it happens for you.

M: I understand that feeling, thank you for trying. Random, what kind of music do you like?

W: I haven’t been listening to much lately, as I kind of moved away from distractions during my Awakening. I used to listen to a wide variety of stuff…rap, R&B, grunge from the 90's.

M: I thought so, because naturally we identify with these artists, and some of the music creates very powerful memories.

W: Yes, we must be careful with what we take in.

Is a sangha necessary?

M: I read a book by Thich Nhat — “Living Buddha Living Christ”. He emphasized the need of a sangha for spiritual support, is it necessary?

W: I read that book as well…it was very good.

In terms of a Sangha, I think it depends on how well you tend to work autonomously. If you are very patient and consistent on your own, then I don’t think a Sangha is really necessary. If you waver in practice and like to be around others for support, then a Sangha will help keep you practicing. A Sangha doesn’t necessarily mean meeting in person. There can be online Sanghas that help us to maintain practice. Twitter is a bit of a Sangha…if not somewhat dysfunctional at times!

If you find the right people online, then that’s just as good as meeting in person. So, don’t “give it to mind” that if there is no Sangha- there is no growth. For me, I really did most of my practice on my own. I did use Twitter as a sounding board and met a few people committed to practice, but I was really mostly always solo. We are already what we seek, so there is really no “growth” involved. It is merely recognizing what we are not.

M: Got it. Do I have to do different types of meditation or just focus on one? I’ve seen some for love, joy, health, peace and others…

W: I like simplicity. Mind likes to bounce around shopping in Spirituality. I found just sitting without intention worked the best for me. There’s nothing to gain or obtain or understand. Truth is Realized by coming to rest with What Is beyond concept. So the simpler the practice the more easily we come into resting with What Is. Not everyone will practice the same way- so you must find what works for you.

Is it okay to be Ambitious?

M: Does it matter if you are ambitious? There’s a lot of talk about not craving or desiring, but what if you are trying to make a better life for yourself — like trying to sculpt a great body and all that.

W: In Reality, trying to create a “better” life for yourself is the root of suffering. The mind’s desire to improve is what keeps us caught within the loop of trying to achieve happiness. Happiness is our natural state. Any idea we have that there is something better automatically causes us to move from a state of lack. The key to understanding is that once we are completely okay with What Is exactly as It Is- then Life tends to move us to a “better” place. We are trying to “skip ahead” and all this does is creates unfulfilled desire. Once we do achieve something, a new desire will arise and we will chase after that desire until the next one arises. It is the Wheel of suffering. Ambition in of itself is not bad, but if you are trying to understand Truth, then this will be a hindrance, as Truth is to be with What Is as It Is beyond the mind’s idea of What Is. So, if we keep an ambitious mindset rooted in desiring something better — we will never be able to REST with What Is (free of mind’s pulls).

This is where practice becomes tricky. Say you want to improve the body. We can make that part of practice by accepting What Is and only moving as the moment is moving us. When mind strays to thoughts about what we will look like in the future, we let that go as delusion. What Is is just what we are currently doing without the inner commentary. So, if we have some future idea of what we want to be like — we will never come to see from a point of Truth.

Is Creativity a Hindrance?

M: What should I do with my creative thoughts?

W: Truth is Realized in the space beyond thoughts. So, if we are going to be spending lots of time in imagination — then we are not going to be able to move beyond the mind. Truth is Realized when we turn away from what the mind is offering. If we are enticed by thoughts, by creativity, by distractions, etc… then we will just be caught within mind. Truth must be the number one priority if we want to Transcend the mind. If we want a better version of the illusory life of the individual, then we can meditate, exercise, be creative, work harder, etc- but this will always be accompanied by suffering. To become free of suffering, we must become free of the mind’s illusory individual version of Life.

M: Your tweets are a form of creativity, does that affect your practice?

W: There are different angles to approach Truth. One is Zen-like, which is just being with What Is. Another approach can be through compassionate living. Some may find Truth through their artwork. You must find your angle. Something must speak to you…as Truth is already within us and we are just looking to Recognize Truth once more. A combination of things will work as well. Sitting without intention, being compassionate to others, and expressing ourselves through our art.

For me, I did everything with Truth as the backdrop. When I found myself desiring life to be different, falling into expectations, to be judgmental or opinionated- I dropped those kinds of thoughts. Creativity comes from Source, and we may “touch” this from time to time as the person, but a trap of the mind is to try to separate Source mind and ego mind. We can only Truly come from Source consistently when we have moved beyond the mind into Truth.

Yes, so living a “healthy” lifestyle will help with practice, as for example, if we are listening to negative lyrics in music or watching TV or movies that instill a negative mindset- we are consuming that mindset. The more we “feed” the mind, the harder it is to move beyond it. This doesn’t mean we must become monk-like, but the more distracted we are, the harder it is to remember that all that we are experiencing in mind- is part of the illusion.

M: How do you know when your creativity is coming from the source mind or the ego mind?

W: Everything really comes from Source, as even the illusory ideas of the mind are Source. What I can say about creativity, is when we “disappear” into the creativity, and time stands still, and there is no “me” being creative, then this is coming from Source. If there is a lot of frustration, difficulty, etc… then this is where our ego comes in. I don’t like to talk about separation, because mind will create this idea of being able to “tap into” Source sometimes. We start to wonder if this is Source or is this ego??? This becomes a big problem with practice. We can’t parse the mind into good mind and bad mind, because this keeps us forever caught in trying to find the right part. We can only understand this in hindsight, after we have found Truth.

M: Yeah because I’m at the point where in life where I can’t run from impending responsibilities. You’ve got to make money and without it you’re vulnerable — sadly it’s the world we live in. Pushing yourself to become better is also self-love. I know it’s a never-ending cycle and that’s the suffering we are trying to escape, but it’s okay to have dreams, right?

W: Dreams are one of the causes of suffering. To want is to suffer. Nobody is saying to let go of responsibilities or to “drop out” of society. It is taking your practice into daily life. If we are at work, we concentrate on the task at hand. If the task at hand is done very well, then Life will improve the most our situation allows. So, it is more of changing the approach to Life. Take care of this thing in front of you- and the rest will take care of itself. To set a goal to say make a large salary in 5 years is only going to create suffering until it is achieved- and then we will just want more once we have it.

M: Alright BigWill, thank you. Thich also talked about “taking the practice into daily life”, even to doing dishes lmao.

W: It’s very true. I can have as much pleasure in washing dishes as most people can have with their dreams fulfilled.

M: Wait for real?? Lmao… that’s crazy.

W: I kid you not. Each moment of Life is mostly my best moment. I don’t get happiness from doing… Happiness just arises moment to moment.

M: Wow.

On Interbeing

M: Thich spoke a lot on interbeing. I understand the concept mentally but how do I make it experiential?

W: Experiential inter-being arises when we rest as Awareness. When we see that we are beyond the thoughts- we see we are beyond the individual identity. It helps when we contemplate this in daily life as well. When we eat, we think of all the factors involved in bringing the food to us. When we breathe, we think of the trees, the sun, the rain, the Earth. Each moment is an opportunity to reflect on our interconnectivity. For me, lots of my Insights came through meditation. When I’d sit, I’d FEEL a Universality in my sitting. I could FEEL that the Universe had to be exactly as It Is for me to be sitting in this moment. To think that one decision by one person a thousand years ago- could mean I am not here doing this. We’re just retraining the mind out of its individualistic viewpoint.

M: Got any book recommendations? I don’t want to read a lot of books, as words don’t hold truths like you say. How about the “Tibetan Book of Living and Dying”?

W: If you want to dive deeper into Truth, then I recommend Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. I think I had to read it about three times before it started to sink in. I read the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, and it is also very good. The Hsin Hsin Ming by Osho is also excellent.

M: Thanks. Osho though, he scares me!

W: Nah, don’t be scared. He definitely had his issues, but that is a good book.

On Mantras

M: Should I use mantras to keep me aware and present during everyday tasks?

W: I’ve never used mantras, as I saw them as just extra mind activity. They work well for some- so you need to find what works for you. Mindfulness is keeping the mind focused on the task at hand. This is another option. You can say eating, eating, eating or walking, walking, walking, etc… This trains the mind to be present with What Is. Ultimately, we need to see beyond the words- as all practice is done to see the usefulness of practice. We are not the mind so all practice BY the mind eventually must be discarded. Sorry…meant to say USELESSNESS of practicing. It’s another paradox. If we don’t practice- nothing happens. But when we do practice- eventually we come to see practice helps us to see the folly of practice. We need to allow the mind to reveal its own ignorance. Truth arises in conjunction with belief in mind dissipating.

M: You tweeted one time to learn how to see and hear without labels and familiarity. How do you look at something you’re used to- afresh like you haven’t seen before, how do you observe without words/reaction?

W: It is actually just a matter of repetition. We look and hold no memory of what we see. For a time, the mind will “reach” back into familiarity, but if we keep practicing we can come to rest as only the Awareness of What Is without concept. It might feel a bit clunky at first as we are habitually caught in language, but in time we can drop that habit.

M: I see. It’s important to keep some cravings on the low right?

W: The more we feed into mind- the more lost we become. So we need to find ways of letting go or delaying the pull of mind into distraction.

Am I Crazy?

M: Ok so… I’ve been watching my mind lately, from the awareness seat and woah!!! Am I crazy or what?

I mean I see how constant and contradictory and ceaseless the chatter is…

W: Hahaha. Everyone is crazy. You’re light years ahead of nearly everyone else — because you are Aware that you’re crazy.

Keep Observing. See how everything comes and goes- but you as Awareness do not come or go.

M: Damn… I’m halfway through “I am That” and “Untethered Soul”.

W: I had to read “I am That” a few times to allow it to sink in. I never read “Untethered Soul” but heard good things about it. Nice, keep the Earnestness with you.

M: It’s a lot really. He keeps saying to focus on “I am” so I just stopped reading and started practicing. I will take my time with the book.

W: I think I also put it down halfway through the first time- so it’s perfectly fine. I just kept moving to what drew my interest. Sometimes I would click on a YouTube video by accident- and that would end up being what I needed at that time. We need to listen to what is “showing up” for us. No need to spin our wheels. Life is telling us which way to move if we remain open.

Alertness vs Awareness

M: Is there a difference between being alert and being aware? How do you make awareness an object of meditation, like being aware that you are aware?

W: You can be Aware of being alert. Awareness is just resting in Observation of an experience. Awareness is not an experience.

M: I sometimes feel like I’m not paying enough attention — tricks of the mind, right?

W: Yes. We tend to view everything from mind’s perspective- out of habit. Awareness doesn’t care if we are paying attention or not with the mind- as Awareness can be Aware of either. I’m Aware that I’m paying attention with the mind or I’m Aware that I’m unfocused. Awareness is never part of the experience.

M: The place Nisargaddata speaks of, beyond the mind, sounds really awesome and inviting. Then he proceeds to say that the only way to reach that is by not desiring it, lmao…

W: Hahaha. Ya gotta finesse the mind into seeing its own illusory nature. We can’t directly approach Truth via the mind- as the mind is the barrier. We need to go in the back door by eliminating all that we are not. When we say- none of this experiencing is me, then Truth resurfaces as a knowing beyond words.

A Taste of Freedom

M: Namaste Guru Will

W: Namaste Marvelous

M: I watched Mooji’s “Introduction to Freedom” a few days ago and some things happened. I experienced my true self for the first time. I’ve been dissolving like you say. I didn’t want to keep asking questions cos I realized the mind will always be confused, even when the instruction is as direct as possible.

W: That’s a very good Insight.

M: I’ve been reading some Osho, and in deep with “Tibetan Book on Living and Dying”…along with Mooji and they all talk about is becoming more spacious and focusing on the self during meditation (which is gradually establishing itself here).

You say the awareness itself isn’t in the experiencing, and sometimes when I’m busy and I think “I’m doing this” but I don’t feel the spaciousness. Then mind comes in like “oooh you lost it man”.

Nisargadatta cautioned that starters shouldn’t try to hold onto any feeling. Is that what I’m doing, considering I’m only trying to follow his teachings?

W: I get you… When we begin resting as Awareness, there is a certain “clunkiness” because the mind wants to participate in the process. Mind wants to know “being Aware” is being done properly. This is normal. The more we practice being Aware, the more the mind will dissipate- because we will begin to see that even the mind’s interest in what is happening is observable.

A good way to think of Awareness is it’s the opposite side of the same coin of experiencing. Awareness is Aware of an experience. There’s awareness of the body, the thoughts, silence, etc… The body is experienced, thoughts are experienced, silence is experienced. So, we never just have AWARENESS without a complimentary experience to be Aware of… So, if you are “trying” to “be Aware” as a separate activity, then that is missing the point. We are Aware of the breath, the birds singing, the sun shining on our face, the chatter of a conversation across the room.

Awareness is a natural occurrence that does not require effort. In the beginning, we feel we must use effort, because the mind is so used to being “in charge”. Slowly, over time, our viewpoint shifts, and we can rest as Awareness without the mind interrupting the Stillness. A good practice is to be Aware of your attention moving across a room. It is that subtle “knowingness” that the attention is shifting. It is not a mind activity. It is just being Aware… The more you practice, the more fluid it becomes. There is no state or station of Awareness to hold. Mind wants to own the process, so that’s why we feel we have found or lost the Awareness. Just don’t make a fuss about the mind giving you a hard time. Just remain Aware that mind is trying to goad you into feeling bad about practice. Everything is observable. Awareness is the subtlest form of Consciousness — so ALL we experience is occurring within Awareness.

Another good pointer- is to just think of practice of relaxing. When tension arises, be Aware of the tension and relax. The more we relax, the more Awareness becomes apparent. They work together. If we are caught in tension, then we will seem to lose the Awareness. So, use relaxation as another guide to keep opening up to Awareness… You are doing fine. It will take some time for the mind to settle. Think of a pendulum swinging in and out of the old conditioning. It will swing widely between the old delusion for a while, and then it will become subtler. We will catch ourselves being unaware more quickly.

Also, don’t try to become “perfect” or “super clean” in Awareness. Sometimes I am just here, in this relative state of experiencing, and other times I am resting as Awareness. Like if I watch a movie, I am just the relative experiencing and I enjoy that perspective. So, don’t feel like there is a permanent state of Awareness that you must remain “in” during all your waking hours… Just relax and see how you can use Life as your practice. When we slip up, then we just use that as a teaching point. Eventually we will learn to slide in and out of different perspectives — while always knowing that we are not the experiencing itself.

Which Master should I listen to?

M: Nisargadatta says to keep the thought “I Am” in mind. Osho says the true witness arises when you just let the mind do whatever it wants. Thich Naht Hanh says to focus on the breath. I’m confused.

W: Yes. The thing we must understand is Truth knows what we need. Truth is opening us up to What Is as It Is and is discarding the old conditioning we’ve held in mind. Each has a unique way to Realization. The key is to know we are already what we’re looking for. Keep opening your Heart up and keep an Earnestness to know Truth. Truth will keep guiding you.

Losing Interest in Everything

M: I noticed I’m losing interest in worldly things. Everything else just seems so unreal and unnecessary. Goals, discipline, focus, dreams, ambitions, hard work — the illusory nature of these societal conditionings is starting to unravel. It’s making me “lazy”.

I also might be the first person to become enlightened by taking naps, lmao…

W: There’s definitely an adjustment period. When the veil is lifting it’s completely normal to feel out of sorts. We have to understand it is a completely new perspective of experiencing. We are actually rewiring the neurons in the brain. So- that’s why we need to rest and chill for a bit. I have tons of energy now- after going through the “lazy” period. I am up at 5AM without needing to be. I exercise. So, don’t feel as though this is a permanent state you’re entering. Maybe your desires may change or maybe not. Some things dropped away for me and others didn’t. I actually really only need the basics in Life and I’m quite content with What Is. What needs to get done will get done. Keep Faith in Truth and all will work out as it should.

Was Osho a real Master?

M: I read Osho was the sex guru and called himself the rich man’s guru. He owned lots of exotic cars and wore expensive Rolexes. No problem with that, I’m just wondering how he was able to become enlightened if the basic requirements are detachment, and non-desiring.

W: There are different ways of Awakening. Awakening is to become One with What Is as It Is and to Realize the Awareness in which All moves. Osho took the avenue of completely becoming immersed in desire. I have never delved into that aspect so I am no expert. You can read up on this through Tantric practice.

M: Becoming enlightened through lots of sex and naps — yeah, I think I can become one with that.

W: Hehe. I don’t think I would have the discipline to practice that way.

M: I am starting the Hsing Hsing Ming book you recommended.

I know the mud will soon settle, I trust all my gurus, especially you. Thank you.

W: I can feel your earnestness. It just is a matter of time. Once the Heart is opened, it will continue to expand. We are Infinite Formless beings moving within these forms. You can feel the interconnection and expansiveness growing. Keep doing what feels right and keep relaxing into What Is. You are already Truth. The more Earnest we are- the more we Recognize the Truth of What we already are. Great talking to you my friend.

M: Likewise BigWill. You know we can easily make an “I Am That” book, written by GinormousBuddha. All we have to do is compile the conversations in this Direct Message, as there are lots of great insights on here.

W: Haha. Maybe a book will come one day. Thank you for the kind words.

Conversation (Aug 13 2019)

Book release date (April, 2021)

Finger Pointing at the Moon

M: Namaste Guru. Kindly give me a pointing for the upcoming week. A word, an instruction, a book, a grace, anything…

W: Namaste. Pointers are all fingers pointing at the moon. Who is looking at the pointings? The one looking must eventually see the pointers are keeping you caught in mind. Mind wants a path to follow. To Transcend is to see all words, pointings, teachings — are empty. Abstract concepts are not It. When Nothing Is- You are there. When something is — something looks for pointings and remains caught in looking. First, we must see our Universality. Then we must see that “Universal” is but another concept. All beyond the idea of All. Quiet beyond the idea of quiet. What was here before you learned of concepts?

M: Your words have pierced me deeply. The link between understanding, realization and liberation is patience and devotion, right? The process seems to have a progression to it.

W: The understanding- is that there is nothing to understand. The Realization is that it is the idea of liberation- that keeps us bound to mind. The mind’s need to progress is a trap. There is a period of transition, but to think of it as a process- is to remain caught in mind. We must hold the Realization that we are already what we seek- and allow Truth to unravel the mind until we see that No Mind is our Original Nature. Earnestness, devotion and patience are good friends… Allow them to deconstruct the illusions. This is why we say nothing to do, nothing to become, nothing to learn. It is simply a Realization, you just rest as Truth.

M: Thank you for your guidance, appreciate it.

W: You’re always very welcome…

M: I have to appreciate the changes that are already occurring.

Some habits are dropping and I don’t feel the urge to grasp or pick them up. It hasn’t been all sweet though, the mind comes really strong at times Guru.

W: I’m happy for you my friend. It is not always easy to rest as the Witness. The pendulum swings back and forth for a while, but with the earnestness you have within your Heart- there is nothing that can stop this Love and Peace from arising. We just continue to Observe with patience and allow Truth to do Its thing.

M: Nothing but trust and love for you.

Renunciation & Meditation

M: Namaste Guru. Why isn’t it enough to simply renounce an identity? Even when you refuse to label yourself as something, it seems the thoughts just multiply. What’s the middle path between repressing your “old self” and letting things be till transcendence occurs?

Also, you once told me that mediation is essential and prioritized, but then you also said it doesn’t lead to realization. Kindly shed more light on that.

W: Hey Marvelous…

So, if we renounce the identity- who is the one who is renouncing? We must remember that the thoughts are just passing and not a problem until we decide that we don’t want them to be there or don’t want them to be so heavy. If we have an idea that the mind will become more quiet- then it won’t. In fact, to hold even a subtle idea that Life or mind should be a certain way- then we are increasing the conflict in mind. The idea that something needs to occur- is part of the conflict. We must practice and have no expectations. This is the paradox of spirituality.

Meditation is helpful in it allows us to “grow” the spaciousness within the mind. When we “sit” with What Is- we are mimicking Reality, as there is only What Is. When we don’t try to quiet the mind, and just rest with the thoughts passing, sounds occurring, etc… we take the power of “control” away from the mind, and rest as the Unitive Universal flow, but meditation by itself is not the transcendence. The transcendence is to see the illusory nature of mind. Some people can come to see this through Inquiry, such as What Is This?, or Who am I? So, to say meditation is necessary- is to give mind a “blueprint” to follow, which is just another lifeline to the mind.

Spirituality is ALL about paradox. We must look to see there is nothing to find. We must practice to see the futility of practice. We are searching for- where we are searching from. So, any questions mind has about things not conforming to a “normal” way, are really just more noise the mind is making. Any need to understand why or how or what only further catches us in mind. Let me know if this helped.

Effortless Effort

M: Everyone keeps saying “make no effort”. Isn’t that putting effort into not putting effort?

I know truth is a lifelong discovery and I’m just starting so no hurry…

W: If you deem it to be a “life-long” discovery- then the mind will gladly guide you in your life long search, so be careful of timeframes. There is only this moment for Realization. Ramana Maharashi once said (paraphrasing)… “We must give great effort to see the futility of our effort. If we give no effort, then we remain lost.”

M: That Maharashi quote shattered me!

W: Good… Now, allow the shattered pieces to fall away. When nothing is left to hold onto- there You are, in the complete Nothingness of Being before mind.

M: I meditate whenever I can, but I’m far from consistent. I just don’t allow the mind guilt trip for missing a session.

W: It’s good to not cry over a missed session- but beware of the mind using “not identifying with the practice” as a subtle mind game to not practice. Again, more paradox… The Truth is not in “listening to mind” or “not listening to mind”- the Truth is to see ALL mind activity as illusion. When we sit, we just sit. Mind will find ways not to sit, but you learn to allow Truth to discern your attachment/avoidance. To Transcend you must embrace paradox. Here, but not here. Do, but no doer. Transcend, but no one who transcends…

M: I need a certain level of discipline to succeed in school and other responsibilities, but Osho says life must be lived spontaneously and free of all kinds of habits…

W: What we can do is just concentrate on THIS moment. Any plan that we have will be taken care of if we focus on what needs to be done right now. So, it’s good to plan lightly and let go. Once we have the right orientation set, then we can do what is in front of us- without always thinking about where we need to go. It is just learning to relax into each moment.

M: I’ve observed that my mind likes to talk a lot about what has been discovered. It’s a little tricky — you don’t know if it’s the universe trying to speak to someone through you, or its just your own ego trying to impose your beliefs on others.

W: As Mooji says- keep quiet. When you no longer feel a “pull” to tell others and when mind “doesn’t care” whether others know Truth or not- then you are ready to speak. Just my opinion- but Truth will arise in the way it will arise…

Is Karma real?

M: If this is all an illusion and duality doesn’t exist, why do people get negative karma for what they did in their past lives.

W: We have to remember that Buddhism is also conceptual- so the Buddhists will hold some dogma, rites, rituals just as the Christians or Muslims, etc… Karma is conceptual, so although within the illusion of mind, it may have merit, it is still part of the illusory mind. If you believe in karma- in a sense, you will be affected by it, but this is still only happening on the abstract illusory level of mind. I don’t know the full extent of their teachings, and I’ve never had deep conversations with Buddhists- so what I do is to just know that I “can’t know”. The “knowing” is the illusion. I also don’t “know” that the Buddhists “are wrong”. I just choose to remain open to What Is beyond mind’s concepts.

I am not so interested in how the illusion moves. I chose to remain in the “not knowing” Spaciousness and allow Life to move as It will. The mind being curious about these processes- is what keeps us bound to mind. So, I just don’t push into what mind questions. I just remain with What Is beyond concept… This has served me well.

M: I have been a lot quieter lately and the people around me have started noticing.

W: Very good. We arise as Truth from Quietude. Others will know something is different- but we needn’t worry about explaining anything to them.

M: There was a realization that mind has never and can never move body/life. Life moves body/mind and it has ALWAYS been so. Only awareness was missing.

W: Keep allowing Life to move as it will and relax into that which is beyond experiencing. Relaxation is surrendering without a “surrenderer”. Keep up the good work.

M: You are the only person I can talk to about this. Eternally grateful.

What is Duality?

M: If we label desires as bad, aren’t we still caught in duality?

Do things happen for a reason — is there a divine purpose or do things just happen? Did I come across you by chance or was it divinely ordained?

W: We will come to a point where we understand that duality or non-duality are both just concepts of the mind. To think that we can Transcend duality — is what keeps us bound within duality. To think that there is non-duality keeps us bound in duality. Good and bad are just concepts as well. Anything that we are experiencing happens in what we call duality. There is no escaping duality. Life is two-fold. We have the Absolute Reality, which is unknowable by this small mind. The best this small mind can do is to know that as the Absolute, all this experiencing is “Not me”. This is the principle of Neti Neti… We see ALL experiencing as a happening within the Absolute. As the Absolute has no parts — it can never know Itself. We also have the Relative aspect of Life. This is the world of me and you, good and bad, love and hate. We cannot escape duality, but we can come to know that our True Nature is “beyond” this dualistic experience. So, we can say there is good and bad and we can say, there is no good or bad. This is the two-fold Reality. To know it is a two-fold Reality- frees you from being caught within the duality. We can move through Life with the deep Insight that this is the dream world of duality, so we don’t grasp tightly to what comes and goes. We know we are the deeper aspect of Truth, the Absolute- that does not come or go. And yet, we cannot know the Absolute. Mind must turn away from wanting to “solve” that which is unknowable.

There is no reason for anything happening. To the mind, this is very blunt. Mind wants to “know” why. Mind wants to see the cause and effect. Mind wants to figure out how this works. Mind wants to know there is a purpose to all of this. Mind is the illusion. Random or ordained are both concepts. Mind wants to categorize and conceptualize. What we must come to see is the mind is the limitation. We are ALL that is and beyond this as well. If we are ALL of it, how can there be reason or cause and effect? There are no parts other than what mind creates. ALL movement is dependent on ALL other movement. It is a Unitive flow. All flowing together without parts.

Absolute means there is no relative, no object, no subject. Truth is beyond comprehension, because there is no knower who could know- because there are no parts. The part of you that wants to “know” is also part of the illusion. We are free when we realize that our own need to know or do or achieve, etc — is part of the illusion — and yet, we can come to a place of peace- where we see this body-mind moves as Life moves it, and we rest in knowing this is a small part of what we are and what we Truly are is Infinitely Present, neither coming or going…

M: I had to go over these words over and over. You said “the you that wants to know is illusory”. So what to do with this one that wants to know Guru?

W: Who wants to know “what to do with the one that wants to know?” Is it not the same one? All mind activity is simply that- mind activity. All experiencing is simply that- experiencing. There is nothing “to fix” or “solve”. We just must come to “know” that the Absolute is beyond experiencing. So, it becomes more of a “stepping back” into the space before experiencing, before mind, before knowledge… You were here before this body arrived- as the Presence that knows the body. That Presence will be here after this body has passed. This is why we say doing, but not doing. Seeing, but not seeing. Knowing, but not knowing… We are this experiencing and beyond this experiencing. There is nothing “to do” but to experience and to know we are beyond this experience.

M: That first line alone felt like a knockout. Thank you so much.

W: You’re very welcome Marvelous!

Let go of the Doer

M: Say you make a mistake, or say something you shouldn’t have and you know it wasn’t the best. If the initial reaction was the response life intended to pass through you, and mind comes in saying you were wrong, which is true?

W: You sort of answered your own question. The mind trying to understand how Life should proceed is keeping you caught in a habitual mind loop. Mind does not want to cede its control or its illusory individuality, so it continues to question the experiencing. By questioning the experiencing it retains an illusory idea of control and individuality. There is no individual who insults and no individual who was insulted. All of Life is dependent on all of Life. There are trillions of factors embedded within each experience. There is no individual action. The questioning of whether we can say “life did it” is not coming from you, but is a Universally conditioned event. If we don’t see everything as Life or the Totality or Unitive or Universal- then it creates the false sense of control. If the idea of me and you is there, then control is there… The illusion of control/individuality allows the mind to enter the habitual loop in which we become lost… There is no “you” who is in control or who is the “doer”. Life is just occurring in Its Totality. Not sure if you’ve heard of “Indra’s Net”…look it up when you get a chance if you haven’t. The very idea of thinking there was “a mistake” reflects the rest of the entire Universal experiencing. “You” can’t have a thought on your own because there is no “you” that is independent of all other “things”. Mind may get a bit frightened at hearing this- but this is also a Universal thought. EVERYTHING is Observable in your experiencing. This is the key to understanding that there is no “you”. If you can Observe it- then it can’t be you. Once we “take our hands off the wheel” and just rest as the Observer of the experiencing- then the experiencing gets “lighter” because we are not associating with the false individuality from this “Universal perspective”. It becomes the opposite of the habitual loop of mind. There is a Zen story about a boat on a misty lake… If you are on a boat and you see a boat coming towards you…you shout hey watch it, I’m here! and there is no response and the boat rams you- you get very angry. You soon notice that the boat is empty and it’s just drifting and your anger soon dissipates. There is no person who acts individually against you. Life is just moving. Life has no director and you are not the doer. You are the Consciousness that remains Aware of the experiencing, so we must continue to Observe and see ALL of this is “not me”.

Social Media Addiction & Creativity

M: How do you cope with such heavy use of Twitter? For me this is an addictive platform. How do your creative ideas come to you?

W: On the addictive nature of Twitter… Everything can be used as practice. The tendency to overindulge or desire in of itself is not an issue- only if we have come to rest in Awareness of our activities. If there’s Awareness of my desires then it is not “me” who is desiring. It is simply a desire arising upon the screen of Consciousness. As the Awareness- I am not touched by the desire. The more Awareness there is- the less “energy” the desire possesses and we naturally are able to “turn away” from the overindulgence. A good practice to reinforce our Awareness practice is to practice delaying gratification as much as we can. Whenever we feel ourselves being swayed to some activity- pause for a moment and don’t “give in”. If we are consistent and patient with this- the delaying gratification ITSELF becomes enjoyable which further reinforces our ability to turn away from being “pulled into” desires.

“I” don’t create anything- as all activity and experiencing are the output from a Unitive Universal flow. The more we believe “we” are in control of our creativity- the less there will be, as we end up fighting against the flow of Life. If we remain focused on “increasing” Awareness and letting go of our “individual” reference point- we will naturally become more of a conduit of creative flow and less of an abstract idea fighting against itself.

M: I’ve noticed that desires possess less energy when brought into the light of awareness. The things I need always seem to find me, just like you said they would. Wonderful coincidences like picking up any chapter in a random book and finding the answers to the exact question bothering me at the moment. And Osho doesn’t scare me anymore, we are basically lovers now.

W: That’s great that you are “in the zone” in which what you need just seems to appear when you need it. I definitely remember that- especially when I was watching YouTube videos. Somehow I was directed to exactly the next thing I needed to see. I wasn’t searching for anything. It was pretty amazing… Hehe…Osho scares everyone at first. Some people are very angry at Osho and you get a negative reaction if you say you’ve listened to any of his pointings. We can learn something from everyone. Only mind will put up walls and refuse to listen. Glad you and Osho are on good terms now!

Keep Quiet

M: You said “the more interested you are in talking the further you stray from realization”. You also said life simply expresses itself. When relating with family and friends, you have to indulge at times. When I’m with my guys I observe myself talking about things like girls, money and gossiping. I know the words we speak reflect the state of mind inside, and I’ve also read about how the Buddha made his students not speak for years. What to do?

W: We don’t have to become “silent” or run away up to live in the mountains at high altitude. If we have the proper perspective, we can remain with our day to day activities- and the key is to remain in OBSERVATION of what is said. To remain Aware that “there is small talk, gossip, etc” is the same as being Aware that there is Silence in mind at the top of a mountain. It is our ability to remain Aware of what is transpiring- that helps us Realize we are “not this experience”. Remaining quiet is very helpful because we can remain Aware with less distractions pulling us out of being Aware. So, we can see that it is good practice to remain Aware when we are not so focused on “practicing”.

Dealing with Insecurities

M: The second question seems to have answered itself. It was about an insecurity I’ve had since childhood. I’ve always thought about fixing it. I’m not identified with it like I used to, but I’m very much still conscious of it. I make peace with the fact that I don’t have the funds to fix it here, and I’ve made it this far so God provides. I know this is also here to be transcended and for maturity.

W: The childhood insecurities are actually quite helpful when it comes to practice. It is that which “flexes” against us that provides an avenue for practice. When we sit in meditation it is good to allow the insecurity to arise if it wants to. We can say- that was never me, that was only an illusory thought held in memory. It helps to remind us that this body is not me. The thoughts I hold about this body are not me. None of what is experienced is “me”. There is only an unchanging Awareness of the changing body-mind. All the stuff that bothers us is good practice…

My Monkey Mind won’t shut up

M: The mind is on a ceaseless cycle of needing and demanding. Is the “non-desiring” state Nisargadatta talked about possible?

W: Desire in of itself isn’t bad- but to be caught within the experiential world, is to be a slave to the desires- because we believe “we” are desiring. In the paradox of spirituality- we must Transcend the desiring mind in order to come to see that Life is moving the body-mind and any desire arising is not “mine”. This is where our practice helps. To remain AWARE of the desire is done to separate from the experience. Only when the Neutral Witness has stabilized- can we rest and relax and Observe that a desire has arisen. To shed the Light of Awareness on a desire immediately “loosens” the power that desire has in the experiential world. Life is affected by Observation. Life may choose to discard the desire if it determines it to be detrimental or it may act on it if there is no harm. Awareness is not involved in the experience- and yet it has an affect…more paradox. This points to the interconnected nature of the Absolute. To sum up- we don’t need to drop desires because they are “wrong”. But if we continue to act AS the one desiring we will continue to be distracted within the experiential world of suffering. Dropping the desires allows the mind to quiet down and become more subtle. It is in subtlety that Awareness becomes the most visible. We move to stillness, not to still experiencing- but to quiet the world so we can Realize this Awareness of All that Is.

Nisargadatta is really just pointing to Awareness. Awareness has no desires, but also has no experiencing. Awareness of the experience- but not IN the experience.

Is it Wrong to Pray?

M: I was raised to pray and then I learnt to manifest. They both seem to be rooted in fear and inability to accept what is. Is it wrong to pray for success, good health and safety of loved ones?

W: Hehe. I don’t pray, affirm or manifest- because I know in Truth I am more the Awareness that watches the attempts to change Life. Life happens on Its own. To understand- allows us to relax. To relax allows Life to move us as It will. Somehow in the relaxed state- what Life brings to Life is okay.

M: Thank you so much for transforming life this year.

W: You’re most welcome- but you did all the difficult work. I merely reminded you of your True Nature and pointed you in the right direction. I’m happy to have gotten to know you and glad to see you “ripen”.

William’s Heart Problem

Marv: Namaste dear Guru. What did the heart test results say if you don’t mind me asking?

Will: Hey Marvelous… I didn’t get the best news but not the worst either. I found out I have Barlow’s syndrome with cardiomyopathy that puts me at risk for “sudden death”. They tell me I need an implantable cardioverter defibrillator. May never use it- but once I get it, I’ll be protected now. Thanks for asking!

M: That sounds really scary. You said something’s going to be implanted in your chest, will that solve the whole thing?

W: Basically it is a mini-defibrillator. You know those things that shock people who are having a heart attack? I am getting a small version of that so it will automatically shock me if I end up having a heart attack. It is implanted under the skin but it will stick out of my chest a little bit. It’s okay because this body is just a body. I am the Awareness of it and not the body itself. So, I am not so worried.

M: I don’t know what to say Guru, this is a lot to take in. I’m sad.

W: Honestly, there’s not much difference for me if this body has an issue versus someone else’s body. It is all just One Unitive Being and the Awareness you know is the same Awareness that knows this body. I may never need the device, so I have no worries. I have no fear of death because this body isn’t me. I feel worse for my family as they don’t have the same understanding.

Update April 2021: Never got the implantable defibrillator and the heart issues have subsided. I honestly believe that my premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) were a result of an energetic rewiring caused by my Spiritual Awakening. The doctors dismissed the energetic reasoning, but I listened to what Life was telling me and I have been symptom free for some time now. Everyone should definitely listen to their doctor’s advice though, as I did take a risk in ignoring the doctor’s instructions.

M: That’s kind of relieving. So you didn’t ever try to introduce any of your family to their true nature?

W: I did but nobody really was compelled to follow up on it. My older sister is the only one that seemed really interested. My Dad listens to me, but he is set in his Catholic ways.

M: Well on Twitter you have over 9,000 family members that have complete trust in your truth.

W: Everyone is my fam!

Is Reincarnation real?

M: Is reincarnation real, do you think you’ll come back? Sometimes I wonder if this is my first life.

W: Reincarnation isn’t really real- because there never was an individual. At the abstract layer of mind, you could say there is the idea of an individual, but that’s not really Truth. All illusions of mind must be shattered!!

Mind will Fight back to Maintain Control

M: Why does our mind relive arguments and comes up with better things we should have said? I’ve been experiencing insomnia for a week now. The mind just goes crazy.

W: Hello Marvelous… It seems to me that you are getting into the difficult part of practice in which the mind is starting to find a little fear in your Realization. Mind always wants to retain control- so when it senses there is a disruption brewing, meaning that something is changing and it feels like it is about to lose some of its power- it lashes out and creates more inner disharmony. We have to understand that it has taken decades for our conditioning to build up and so, we cannot expect this conditioned mind to go quietly into the night. What you are facing is completely normal. The emotions will run from anger, to apathy, to fear, to a feeling of annihilation. This is why AWARENESS is so critical. All your difficulties are opportunities to remain AS the Awareness. Nearly everyone “blends” personhood and Awareness, so it’s not True Awareness. We think “I’m” being Aware of everything going on. It’s not like that. Awareness has nothing to do with you. Despite our best efforts, the person still manages to hold onto the experience. What I will emphasize is to focus on the two-fold Reality you are living in. There is the Relative experiencing and there is Awareness OF the experiencing. These never overlap. They are two sides of the same coin but never touch each other.

It is much better to remain focused on this two-fold Reality than it is to try to “fix” the Relative, as we are not so in control of the experiencing. If we come to REALLY Realize this Awareness is a Formless Witness that watches a Relative reality that is beyond our control, then we find Peace is beyond experience.

The mind in the Relative world may be going crazy- but we Observe from the Formless Awareness in complete Peace. This is the part that nearly everyone misses. The experience is the experience. It is always Universal. You have no choice to make the mind quiet. The Universe and all its conditioning decided if and when the mind will quiet. If you Recognize the Awareness of this Universal flow- the experience will quiet down on its own, as the Universe recognizes that you don’t need the disturbances anymore to Awaken. Emotions will still come and go, but they won’t be so sticky anymore. You are doing fine. The best thing you can do in the experiencing is to relax into What Is. This does not mean to be passive. We can relax into knowing that an argument is occurring. It is a very subtle thing. Let me know if this helps.

M: So Awareness doesn’t give a signal like “yes son, you really caught the mind there”. The ultimate witness is always uninvolved and totally silent?

Will: Yes, the Witness is always neutral and has no interest in the experiencing. The True Witness is at Peace no matter what the experience. It is difficult to see there is already a two-fold reality. Mind thinks we must “do something” to Recognize it- but it is already happening. Awareness MUST be there if experience is there.

Spend a few minutes a day just sitting and focusing only on Awareness. Be Aware of ALL the senses and the mind. Neutral observance of sounds, of touch, of movement, of breathing, of smell, of thoughts moving, of silence between thoughts. This is time put aside for Recognition OF experiencing. No mind is needed. There is only a Formless Awareness that is unknowable by the mind. Any attempt by the mind to find it is SEEN by the Awareness. As you say, there will never be an experiential signal because Awareness is beyond experience. It is just a very, very, very simple Recognition that there is something silently Aware of all this happening. Think of it as the subtlest thing beyond the idea of subtlety. It’s just always there and nothing need be done to find it.

M: I guess I better relax and chill then.

W: It’s ironic that the more we understand we can’t control anything- the more we relax, and things change for us.

M: If we are the Absolute, aren’t we in a two-fold reality sense, the controllers (God)?

W: Yes, that’s the highest Realization. Absolute means Absolute. Everything without division is what we are. There is no controller. There is only What Is Absolutely. All ideas of levels of progress of Awareness of Awakening- are All the Absolute. There is only the Absolute and “we” in all our forms and Formlessness have always been the Absolute.

Religion & Dreams

M: Christians, Muslims, witches, astrologers, Buddhists…

No matter what someone’s spiritual practice is, they aren’t the doer, right (whether they know it or not)?

W: I would say that we are not any of those things individually, but in the Absolute sense- they all fall under the Oneness that we are. We sometimes tend to focus on the good aspects of Oneness, meaning Buddhas and Christs, but we forget that we are the murderers, the criminals, the deviants… Only when we can see that we are ALL of Life can we come to see the Absolute Reality. We don’t need to “clean” ourselves of everything, but if we hold judgments and opinions of good and bad then it is difficult to Transcend the mind that separates. So, we practice letting go of judgments to “loosen” the hold the mind has on our experiencing. Once we see we are the Awareness of the experiencing, then we can allow the feelings to play out a little more naturally. We see the emotions come and go, and we don’t get caught within them for too long.

M: I’ve been having weird hyper realistic dreams lately. Osho says dreams are repressed desires manifesting at night, the mind just goes on solving problems it couldn’t solve during the day. It seems reaching a state of total surrender to Tao is a gradual process.

W: I really don’t have much to say about dreams. To me, they are similar to our thoughts during the day. They arise and are out of our control. So, I don’t try to give any meaning to dreams. Everything is just an appearance within Consciousness. The more we try to dissect- the more lost we become. What Is is just What Is. I just relax into not knowing and enjoy what comes and goes.

Dreams are part of the Relative experiencing. It’s a Universal flow- so to dream or not dream is how the Universe is just playing out in that form. I don’t try to do anything with my dreams. They are just a phenomenal activity that happens. There really is no “total” “state” of surrender. Mind makes up these things to create some place to reach or attain. In reality, you are already where you think you need to be. There is only ever What Is. Mind thinking there is a Tao to reach is already Tao… When mind sees that it itself is part of Truth- then there is no longer any searching for Truth.

M: The last line made me recall something Alan watts said… “the everyday mind is Tao”.

W: Yes, we are not so in control of what this body-mind decides to do. I know every choice is Universal so going with the flow is what we are always doing regardless if we think we’re going against it. As Awareness we are the Witness and we just need to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

M: These days it feels like I’m a puppet kind of. People talk to me and it feels like- who are these people talking to? I know there’s a body in front of them but…having trouble articulating it.

W: I like how you describe feeling a bit like a puppet. That’s a good description because we are moved by Life. It is an odd feeling, but in time it just becomes “normal” and Life is just moving.

There is no Right or Wrong

M: I found my creative spark again, even better than before. But I’m still worried about getting followers and growing instead of just accepting whatever comes.

W: Everything flows out of Awareness- so we need to see all the experiencing as a creative flow. There’s not non-creative “work” to do before you get to the creative stuff. You ARE creativity Itself, as Life is flowing in real time out of the unknowable Absolute. Be the Awareness of creativity instead of trying to be a creative person at times. Just a thought…

That’s great that you are creating again, and yes, we definitely still need to “get at it” as to think we don’t need to be ambitious in Life is also wrong view. However Life moves us- is how we are meant to move. When we flow WITH Life, it just happens a bit more smoothly. You are finding that good balance between not resting and not forcing. It is more like relaxing into Life. So this is all good my friend.

M: Did you use any sound therapy?

W: What I would suggest is using YouTube to search binaural beats or pineal gland meditation. Everyone is different- so I don’t want to suggest anything in particular for you. Just remember all of this phenomenal activity comes and goes. The Awareness of the experience is the important part. We don’t want to get lost in a phenomenal experience.

Are Extra-terrestrial Powers real?

M: Why do some people have unnatural powers and how do they get them? Witches, healers, foreseers, prophets and so on.

Are there good and evil forces?

W: I don’t know anything about special powers. I am just simple, but in that simplicity is wonder in each moment. This reminds me of what Thich Nhat Hanh said “People usually consider walking on water or on thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or on thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” Mind likes to think of “specialness” and sometimes we get lost in the search for it. Awareness is beyond all powers, as all experiencing happens within it. Without mind- what is a prophet or a foreseer? Without the body- who heals and who can be healed? Body and mind come and go. Awareness is ever Infinitely Present. Without Awareness- Nothing is.

M: But some people can heal others, or see into the future. Is it all life experiencing itself and playing this game with itself, or the powers have a source (God/devil) like we were taught as kids?

W: More important than understanding what the answer is- is understanding who is asking this question and why? Awareness is unknowable by the mind. How could what is beyond even Awareness be answered by any mind? Can you see how the questions perpetuate the questioner?

M: I realize that no answer can satisfy my mind. Mooji used to say “don’t hold on to any favorite concept” and Tilopa has a saying that “whoever clings to the mind sees not the truth beyond words”. So when concepts arise in my mind, there’s another voice that judges them and tries to shush them. It hardly works as the thoughts just going on unfolding. It seems I play favoritism with the thoughts — I quickly dispel some but cling to some.

W: At some point we come to see that the voice that judges the thoughts we have is just another thought we are having. If you are dispelling the thoughts- that is a thought dispelling the thoughts. ALL the mind activity has to be seen as just a happening WITHIN the Awareness- which is not part of the experience. The Awareness is always neutral and not interested in what is occurring. Remember that Life is always Universal. Any personal inner conversations you are having are just more phenomenal activity (as you mentioned). Everything experienced is just a Universal happening. “You” meaning the person- aren’t doing anything as an individual. To think we have to be alert is fine up to a point- until we see that as Awareness even the idea of staying alert is just another Universal happening. You will have to discern whether or not you can see the activity as “not me” and “I” am just the NEUTRAL Observer of What Is.

Let Life Lead You

M: My lack of money has been disturbing me a lot lately, as I feel like I’m too dependent on my parents. I should have been done with school last year, but I got an extra year so I guess a part of me feels guilty.

W: As Mooji always says, once we commit to Truth, then Life takes care of Life. I went through a difficult time and once I surrendered I’ve been supported each and every step of the way. The key is to not mind what might happen. If you remain dependent on your parents and they end up kicking you out- then fine. As Awareness, it’s really none of your business. Somehow Truth will show you where you are meant to go. If we are meant to have a bit of a falling down before we find our place- then we must accept Life is moving us towards our Truth.

The mind wants to know things will fall into place and wants to know we will make enough money to survive and get out on our own. There’s really no reality to these projections. Life can only be lived as it comes to us. There’s nothing that says you HAVE to start out immediately and impact lives. If it happens, then that’s fine, but we shouldn’t hold an expectation of what direction Life needs to move. If you end up with a good career opportunity- then at that time you will decide if it’s right for you. The speculation about the future is where we start to feel alone and worried about finding our way.

Just take care of the task at hand, do your best and Life will open Itself up to you. Keep practicing your Awareness and understand that this “person” is a tiny fraction of your experiencing. Life is a Universal flow and you are All of Life. Mind wants to retain the illusion of your personal decisions being important. They are only as important as Life deems them to be. So, just relax and enjoy “not knowing” as Life is an adventure that has no destination. We just dance AS Life and allow Life to move us as It will.

You have the right mindset. Just remember that “not knowing” is your True Nature and that doesn’t mean that you as the person are good with not knowing. It means that you are “not knowing” or No-Thing or undefinable. This is how we come to know Peace. You are doing great. Keep moving and resting as the Awareness of Life moving.

How to stay Centered

M: I’ve realized that social media overtakes my center and I lose my tranquility.

W: The key is to not have a “center”- and then you can’t be pulled out of it. If you think there’s some “state” to maintain, then that is personal and the person just tends to get whipsawed around within the experiencing. Awareness is Formless so it has no center. It is Infinite, so you can’t grasp it. It’s the two-fold Reality we must come to see.

M: Reminds me of an Osho text I read. He said “never try to remain in the center. It is like walking on a tight rope, allow yourself to deflect right and left and with time you’ll develop the knack of balancing.

W: Yes, I like that about walking a tightrope. I definitely “practiced” that for a while until it became second nature. I think it was the Buddha who said “Neither perception, nor non-perception”. To the mind that makes little sense- but it is how Awareness works. There’s the Awareness that isn’t “nothing” but it’s also not “something”. Formless Awareness is the tightrope…

Dealing with Sensitivity

M: My sensitivity is becoming hard to bear. Noises give me headaches and tight spaces make feel constrained in my being.

W: The more time we spend outside of the focal point of the body- the more we tend to Realize the Awareness of What Is… Hang in there. Life is always going to be up and down. Awareness always has Life’s back.

Dealing with Loneliness

M: I have no one to communicate with deeply. My relationship with most people is shallow.

W: Hang in there Marvelous. This is part of the practice. The part of you feeling lonely is the part of you that is not True. Others being shallow is helping you to allow this false part of you to be released. Remain Aware of feelings coming and going. You are not coming or going.

M: Thank you for your guidance and kind words.

W: You’re always most welcome. Your earnest Heart is guiding you. I am just the messenger.

Meditate 24/7

M: It’s hard to find time to meditate while living with all my family members at home. My folks are super religious. I’m sure this is how God wants my path to be.

W: You can even use another religion as a practice if you remain Aware of what’s around you. There’s always an opportunity for Awareness because it is always Here-Now.

It’s more important to make life into a continuous meditation session. If we think about sitting- it’s a small part of the day. If we only mediate in that short time and disregard the rest of the day by being unaware we are not going to accomplish much. In Truth, we are already Truth. The Realization is just a letting go of the concepts we’re holding as “me” or “mine”. Concepts are just tools for experiencing. Words help us to communicate. They are all fine. We just need to Realize we don’t need to IDENTIFY as the individual doer with any of it. Life is moving Life and we remain as the Awareness of Life moving.

M: I’ve noticed that thought activities increase when I’m lying down, taking a shower or doing a chore. Do you have any awareness practice for that?

W: You have two choices when this occurs. You can either double down and focus on the activity or you can focus on Observing the thought flow. If you want to focus on the activity such as showering or say doing laundry- you can actually say “showering, showering, showering” or “laundry, laundry, laundry” to bring you to the task at hand. If you are just laying in bed- then it is probably best to relax into the position of Observer and allow the thoughts to come and go without reactivity.

M: What did Chuang Tzu mean when he said “if one insists in attaining the effortless through efforts it would be futile”?

W: At some point we have to see the futility of practice. We must see that ALL this experiencing is not “me” so does it matter if there’s chatter in my mind or silence? Does it matter how Life is moving? The irony is only when we relax into What Is as It Is and see that none of this is “me” and I don’t mind what comes and goes- does Life come and go with Peace and tranquility. It doesn’t matter so much what’s going on if we are not part of the experience. You have to decide when practice is just another occurrence in Life and not a tool to make Life better. You are doing the right thing by practicing- but keep in mind that this practice is no different than any chore you may be doing. It’s all just experiencing. Awareness is just Aware of the experience so why do we need to make this experience so “clean”?

Tantra sex

M: I was wondering about sexual practice to go deeper into your being. I heard Alan Watts talk about how tantric sex can be used to activate higher levels of consciousness.

W: What sex can offer is that full release of individuality and a Transcendence into a state of Blissful Awareness. In a sense we disappear or merge with our partners and “forget ourselves” to the point of Transcending doership of the experiencing. It is another potential avenue to explore…

Dealing with porn Addiction

M: A lot of things dropped effortlessly when you introduced me to this path. I stopped gambling effortlessly even though I had been trying for months. I disconnected from football, music and other worldly things that I used to heavily associate myself with.

Masturbating to porn is the one thing that won’t go away. I’ve never been a big addict to it, indulging only a few times monthly.

My whole spiritual practice was built on minimizing inner conflict so that there is no guilt or shame. But all the ancient masters emphasize total celibacy. What do you think?

W: I would say to just continue to practice and if this is meant to go away then it will. If it lingers, then just accept that it is here and it is just an experience happening within Awareness. If mind makes too much fuss about what to do- then we will have difficulty. You are not so in control of the experience as Life is moving Life. So, just keep relaxing into What Is and remain Aware of the experiencing.

Vegetarianism

M: Does one have to become a vegetarian to be Enlightened?

W: I would say for me it had to do with levels of Awareness. An animal tends to be more in tune with life than a vegetable. It becomes more of a decision to minimize harming a creature that is more Aware of its experiencing. Some vegetables can be removed without actually killing the entire plant as well- so although you are removing a cucumber- the plant is still able to continue living. As we are all that is- we want to minimize the impact we have on the more conscious aspect of experiencing. In the end, it’s all just a shifting within the same Consciousness, so we could say that nothing is born or nothing dies, but if we want to play the role of “do the least amount of harm” then we can also play that role… It’s not necessary to be a vegetarian to become Enlightened, but it might be something you choose during your practice.

Semen Retention

M: Is there any point to semen retention in spirituality?

W: I don’t subscribe to the semen retention line of thinking. It’s just another concept of mind and another trap in which the mind gets caught. The theory is you’re retaining the energy of Creation. But You are all of Creation and not this small person who needs to conserve anything.

M: What should I do when I feel like someone is wasting my time?

W: If you feel like someone is wasting your time- there’s an expectation that needs to be released. Once the expectation is released- you can relax and enjoy your time with that someone or you can move on to someone/something new. Life is always showing us where we’re caught in wanting Life to be a certain way.

Relationship talks

M: Being in a relationship has revealed some ugly parts of me that would have otherwise been hidden. For so long I had a ‘type’ and was very selective. So now it’s like my mind is fighting the fact that it has to settle with someone who doesn’t meet those absurd specifications. Below that there’s a layer of awareness.

W: Yes, relationships are great vehicles for unveiling the ugly parts of our identity. At the same time, that Loving spark IS Truth. When we lose ourselves in a relationship- we’re Revealing the Love that exists beneath our identity. It’s best to ignore Hollywood and Love your partner as You would Love Truth. Mind will be persistent in trying to catch you within opinions, judgements, expectations. The freer you are of identity the more easily it will be to express Love. The only thing to remember is you can only control your wanting to share Love from your end. However your partner responds is not within your control.

M: I think I also have to be comfortable with that fact that just being myself is an act of love to those around me, as sometimes I feel guilty when I keep to myself at home.

W: That’s the difficulty… Staying true to how you feel, sharing Love how you feel to share it- and being honest in how you move despite how everyone else interprets you under the veil of their own conditioning. That expectation of needing others to understand us is one of the last things we let go of. It’s part of what my divorce with my wife has taught me. We can Love from our end- but that may not be how it is received on the other end. We have to also know when it is time to let go and move on.

M: So even in your super conscious level, you are still learning about yourself?

W: Of course! There’s only “not knowing” so everything experientially is happening in real time… The Awareness is there, but that doesn’t mean this body-mind isn’t continually probing to test the depth of this Awareness.

M: I don’t understand — but I guess that’s the point.

W: Exactly!

M: Alan Watts once said “love isn’t yours to give”. What does that mean?

W: Love is a difficult topic to capture the essence of. It is the root of existence and yet it is also the spark that can ignite the Remembrance of our True Nature. It can more be shared than given and in that sharing we are offering an opening into the Loving Truth that We all are. Most will only attempt to give and accept- as the ability to Understand the depth of this Infinite Love is not shared by many.

Relationships are perfect opportunities to practice- because they highlight our inability to remain at Peace amidst disturbance. In a perfect world, both partners would be Realize True Self- but this is rarely the case. So those who have Awakened must use the relationship to unearth expectations, judgments, attachments, etc. This doesn’t mean we become doormats. We can still disagree- but we have to relinquish the need for our partner to accept our views. As with my own marriage- sometimes it just stops working and you have to know when to move on. There’s no right answer. We just need to relax into the Awareness of however Life moves.

To me, Love flows out from me and it’s already enough. If someone wants to accept it, even better. If I’m alone, I’m fully content. If someone shares Love back to me- then it’s just another bonus. There’s no grasping out for anything anymore. Takes a bit of time to settle into this.

Relax into What is

M: My mind still likes to organize, plan, understand and philosophize things.

W: That’s why I always say to limit your focus to relaxation. When we relax into What Is- the mind automatically quiets and Awareness moves to the primary point of perception. If we give mind only one task- it can’t confuse us anymore.

M: Did you ever feel the need to slow down your movements? It’s harder to be aware of when you are moving fast. Living in the city is like playing “Need for Speed” constantly.

W: Yeah, there’s definitely some times when you need to slow down and you need to find some silence- so living in a city is not so conducive to allow this. What I would suggest is to try to “steal” moments of Stillness when you can. You have to be a bit inventive. For me, if it’s noisy in the house and I want to slow things down without Observing the noisiness, I just put my Airpods in and listen to binaural beats. It’s enough to drown out the noise and I am able to relax into Stillness. So, you may want to find some type of music that would allow Life to slow down a bit for you.

M: Should one strive to become desireless or is that also a

desire — is the wave trying to trick the ocean?

W: The conditioned mind’s views are illusory. I would say the more Awareness there is, the less the tendency for desire to arise. When desire does arise, Awareness gives us the Spaciousness to turn away from needing to fulfill the desire. Or if we choose to fulfill the desire then that’s okay too- as Life will dictate how we respond.

M: It hurts to see so many people being misled and deceived by religion.

W: You can offer the Truth to them but you will soon easily discern who is open and who isn’t. It’s not necessary or worth proving anything to anyone who isn’t receptive. You’re just flexing the ego if you want to “help” them see clearly…when they’re not interested.

Do we have Past Lives?

M: Why do great masters believe we’ve all lived past lives if Consciousness is Oneness? How can fragments repeat?

W: Try to look at it like a two-fold reality. There is the Absolute Reality in which there’s no division, no separation, no individual lives, etc. There’s just What Is. Now, in addition to this Truth, there is an illusory world of mind. When we are caught within the mind, that illusory world is very real to our experiencing. We live within a dualistic field of experiencing. So, for the mind- the individual is very real. Karma is real. But at the same exact time- within this Absolute Knowingness- none of it is Real. I’ve heard it explained like a shadow. Outside, our shadow is very real. Go inside, and the shadow disappears. Is the shadow real or not? Well, yes and no. It all depends on where we are at… That’s my take on it.

M: Thanks a lot for your love, patience and guidance sir. I feel none of this will make sense till one attains to nothingness itself.

W: Nothing to attain… You are the Nothingness already.

M: But my mind keeps chattering.

W: So what? Mind is just another happening… It has nothing to do with the Nothingness. Nothingness doesn’t mean inactivity. Nothingness means Nothing is possessed. All is just a happening and has nothing to do with Us- meaning That which is beyond experiencing. Relax and let the mind do its thing. It might quiet down- but that’s not your business or concern.

M: I felt different kinds of emotions reading that. Thanks for not going easy on me.

W: Sometimes I have to crack the whip! It’s a good sign. It means I think you are ready to be yelled at. You have to Realize that NONE of this experiencing is “yours”. None. Nada. Zilch. It shouldn’t matter if your mind is the loudest on the planet or completely silent. It only quiets down when you’re no longer the owner who wants it to be quiet. When it’s left alone to do whatever it would like and nobody pays it much attention- then it quiets on its own. You can’t be interested in it- because you are the one acting as the mind.

You also can’t “not” be interested in it… It is a very subtle balance of leaving it alone without participating in suppressing interest. That’s why Awareness is critical.

M: Honestly this path requires a very keen understanding, with deep faith. Have you met people that struggle to grasp your pointings even at the simplest level?

W: I would say it requires zero understanding. Faith helps. The only understanding required is to Realize any attempt to understand is the barrier. What Is is just What Is. Truth can only be this Here-Now…as It Is. Even the idea that we don’t understand is Truth. There’s honestly nothing to do. This is IT. Be Aware of your inquisitiveness. Be Aware of your perceived misunderstanding. Be Aware of the movie you’re watching. Any idea of needing “to do” other than what is being done- is extra. You can’t miss Truth- because It’s basically Awareness of whatever is happening. Most don’t grasp the pointings- because they are stuck trying to grasp the pointings.

M: I heard from Sadhguru, “burn your candle from both ends”. I think he meant Awareness + mindfulness; Effortlessness + alertness. What do you think?

W: I think you should stop trying to think so much… Just relax into What Is. Drop the analysis. Be Aware and enjoy whatever comes and goes. Simplify to the point where you’re not concerned about Spirituality. Just Be with this moment as It Is. If mind’s inquisitiveness arises, just Be Aware of the movement. Wash the dishes. Take out the trash. Work on your career. Meditate if you get a chance. The whole trick is to no longer be interested in Truth. Just be relaxed with What Is. Truth is just deep relaxation with What Is. You already have enough Spiritual “knowledge”. Knowing is the barrier. Relax…

Another point is as you said earlier…have Faith. Trust that if you relax- then you will be moved as you need to be moved. Think of the Tao… You have to let go of the idea you’re in control of anything.

M: Your words mean a lot to me, but I know I shouldn’t even hold on to your words.

W: The most critical thing in Spirituality is a deep longing for Truth… You are overflowing with it. Use that as your primary focus. Just open your Heart up to Truth and let Truth know that you surrender fully to Truth. It WILL guide you along to whatever you need. We receive with an open hand. Be the open hand. Allow Truth to place whatever it wants on your palm. Be Grateful for everything it hands to you. That’s the important part. Don’t get bogged down in the mind’s ideas of what needs to be done. You are always welcome my friend. I know your Heart very well. You just need to let it do Its thing.

M: This feels like the hug your Mum gives you after a good ass whooping…hahaha. Thanks for sharing your grace with me. Love you so much.

W: Hehe..Love you too my friend.